Tribute to Morrison's

Dear Blog: Three weeks ago we found out that our dear neighbor and friend had cancer. WHAT? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN I inquired? Just last week Bob was replacing some weather coverings on his roof and was full of life and now he lay on his couch, hardly able to carry on a conversation, he gets so winded. NO details. We don't know anything. Bob started losing feeling in his legs so he went in to get that checked. CANCER!
Two weeks ago: Bob gets oxygen and the type of cancer is confirmed: lung cancer. What can we do to help? Please let us help you, I cry. You have always done so much for us it's the least we can do. Bob is crying too. He doesn't want to impose on us. "Too bad"! I say. We are helping. Corinne, his wife, broke her back several years ago and can't drive or vacuum or stand for too long. Bob was her primary care giver. NOW WHAT? I demand to help- and they finally relent. I get to do their grocery shopping, clean their house and Reece gets to mow the lawn. They insist on paying for the cleaning and mowing, even though i made these really cute all inclusive service coupons for her birthday gift, and encouraged her to redeem them. They don't understand how important performing these acts of service (although they are paying) are to me. They also don't understand Why? Why would I, the busy mother of three make time to serve them. Well, let me tell you.....
Nine years ago when we bought our house Bob came over the first day he saw us. He told us he helped the previous owners with all their maintenance needs so he knew our house like the back of his hand. if we needed help he was there. Who knew that initial encounter would blossom into such a friendship. In the last nine years Bob has helped us do more and borrow more (he has every tool for any job) than I can count. Bob is 83 and if he hasn't seen it or doesn't know how to fix it then watch out. It probably can't be done. Every year Bob grows "us" a garden. Jelly belly's are kept stocked so my kids and any other neighborhood kids that tag along- can come over for a sugary treat. Trey has his very own special stash of suckers as Bob and Corinne didn't want to risk Trey ingesting a peanut butter jelly belly (he has severe food allergies). No one else gets suckers except Trey. Who DOES that? Bob.
This week: Oncologist delivers the horrible news: two months, maybe less. hospice came today for the first time and it was very overwhelming for Bob. They mixed up his medicines, talked to fast, talked to Corinne and NOT him. He is frustrated and sad and I cry when I am over there. I tell him that we are so sorry and that we love him. Bob has family and they live around the area and they are helping BUT i want to help too. I want them to know how much they mean to us. I will try not to impose too much but helping them gives me a sense of purpose right now. It makes me feel like what I am doing matters. I don't get that same feeling from serving  my own family (cooking dinner, doing laundry, scrubbing toilets, grocery shopping). I don't know why. Maybe it's because my family expects those acts and aren't so appreciative. Feeling appreciated and valued.......Isn't that every stay at home mom's plight? I digress......
no pictures. Bob says he's not having his picture taken for anything!  i asked him if i can come over and orally record some of his family history (he is always telling stories). NO- no one cares about my life is his response. i wish he would change his mind. i try to explain to him that generations to come will care. then i reminisce about my ancestors. do i care about their lives? not right now but i may in the future, when i have more time. what if i made the time? what could i learn from their histories? I digress......
funeral arrangements  have been made and quinn, only quinn, is to handle all the details. this service will be hard for quinn but Bob's family will be in good hands. quinn is good at his job. two months is too generous. bob has deteriorated so quickly already in just 3 weeks. i have literally witnessed the life being sucked out of him. he has no fight in his eyes. i think just worry for Corinne. Bob is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints but hasn't been active for over 63+ years. This makes me sad too. does he know that after he passes through mortality his son, that died at age 19, will meet him? does he know that when Corinne's turn on earth is over he will meet her again? do they know that sacred ordinances can be performed on earth that will bind their family for eternity? I digress......
Tonight: Corinne couldn't find one of the medications she needed to give Bob. Hospice is coming tomorrow to review everything. I tell her I can come tomorrow while hospice is there and listen to the instructions and then at night if she can't remember i can help her. she indulges me and says i can come over all the while Bob is yelling in the background something about why would a mother of 3 want to burn herself out on two old people.....BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Well Bob let me tell you.........what goes around comes around. and that includes acts of service.